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The other day, I was tellin' y'all how that children were very susceptible to negative statements and tend to carry, and build, their reality on them, for the rest of their lives.
A child that has been fed on negativity tends to produce an adult that only sees the clouds with the arsenic lining. Their critical minds tend to see the worst in everyone else, and if asked, or not, will tell you just how they feel. They can actually tarnish your silver lining to black.
Well, really, all of us are guilty of gossiping and critiquing others behind their backs...and sometimes, in front of their backs. (“Did I actually say that out loud?”) It's so common, that it is one of the main plot devices in just about every sit-com that the boob tube has ever programmed us with.
Criticizing others is an obvious thing to notice, about a split second after you said it. One of the first chapters in Dale Carnegie's “How to win friends and influence people” is about, “Never criticize others.”
He relates a story of how a young Abraham Lincoln would 'accidentally' leave droll, satirical critiques he had written that would make Mark Twain blush in the main walkways so people would find them, pass them around, and gossip about them. The 19th Century equivilent of governent insiders 'accidentally' leaking things to the press, “I told you that was off the record” (Wink-wink, nudge-nudge).
Anyway, one day, he wrote one so scathing and outrageous, he was challenged to a duel, and right at the last second....the “seconds”, you know, the guys that hold the duelers' coats...called it off.
Abe swore he would never criticize or speak ill of anyone, ever again. Even when his Generals, one after another, were messing up, during the Civil War.
So, the other day, I suggested you use the DELETE button, when someone was putting you down, and substitute a positive truth in its place.
When you feel the urge to criticize someone else, before you do, close your eyes, hit that delete button and imagine yourself in that person's shoes. Or notice something about them you could compliment (not flatter) them “Nice Shirt”.
So, the DELETE Button can help you when you are criticized, and also to keep you from cutting someone else down.
Remember the words of the Apostle Paul. The tongue is a small thing compared to the whole body, like a rudder is to a barge. But that little thing can turn the whole boat. The tongue can turn Peace into War, or War into...Peace.
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